


Not Everything Is Supposed To Come True

by brokenhighways



Series: Happy Endings [6]
Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Rings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 13:33:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1228264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“This isn’t going to work out.” </i>That’s how Jensen decides to start his little speech. It - this - doesn’t really mean anything, not yet. But it’s a good place to start. It's a general conversation opener (albeit for one that probably won't go well, but still) and they can work with that. Jared will ask him what he means, and then Jensen will explain that they can’t get back together because everything is still a fucking mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Everything Is Supposed To Come True

**Author's Note:**

>  Sixth part of the happy endings [verse](http://archiveofourown.org/series/68633). Lazy summary is lazy. Thanks to [soncnica](http://archiveofourown.org/users/soncnica) for the beta. Title from BSB again. Thanks to everyone who's read the previous parts :)

Not Everything Is Supposed To Come True

**i.**

“This isn’t going to work out.” That’s how Jensen decides to start his little speech. It - this - doesn’t really mean anything, not yet. But it’s a good place to start. It's a general conversation opener (albeit for one that probably won't go well, but still) and they can work with that. Jared will ask him what he means, and then Jensen will explain that they can’t get back together because everything is still a fucking mess, and Jensen is still reeling from the fact that Justin thinks he’s in love with him and the whole part where Justin is a complete douche who possibly sabotaged his wedding. He doesn't know what he wants; he doesn't know what Jared wants. 

On the contrary, he knows exactly what he doesn't want - more months of confusion and dancing around each other. It's got to stop. Jensen can't take any more of it. It takes him a little while to realize that Jared isn't saying anything. In fact he looks a little bit sick, his face is ashen and pale all at the same time and he seems jittery. Jensen is sorely tempted to just say fuck it, let's get back together but that feels far too easy, too tentative, kind of like building a house on shaky foundations and hoping to God that each day isn't the day that it'll crash and burn to the ground. This thing he has with Jared has always been complicated in some ways. He'd resisted Jared for a year under the notion that he would only just mess up someone as bright and sweet as Jared. 

Consequently, Jensen sometimes felt as though that Jared's love counted for more than his did. It was a stupid theory and he knew it, but it reared its ugly head time and time again. He remembers it coming up around their engagement party, afterward when they were clearing up. It was going to be Jared's special day, so he would let Jared plan it all and make it perfect for himself. He can still see the look on Jared's face, the question in Danneel's eyes (because she's nosy and had been listening in). Jensen thinks that was the beginning of the end. This thing with Justin has finally pushed them towards to the precipice and here they are; broken and lost. 

"You were right," Jensen tries again. They're up in his hotel room, and he suddenly wishes he'd picked a more neutral setting. Like the bar, where he could have access to alcohol that won't cost an arm and a leg. "I was still mad at you, I hadn't forgiven you. All of that equal blame crap was just a way to try and absolve myself of any guilt." 

Jared doesn't say a word. Jensen presses his lips together. He hates this. He hates that he let Chad bait him into that fight, hates that Justin is a fucking idiot. Tom might not have been the reason why Jared called of their wedding, but he was probably a factor. And that would never have happened if Jensen hadn't been spilling his guts to Justin, while being too blind to see that he was manipulative and evil. 

"As for Justin, I am so sorry about everything. I know you say that what he did wasn't a big issue for you, but it is for me." Jared's silence reignites the anger that Jensen's been working hard to push down. Between Justin begging for forgiveness outside on the curb, and Jared standing here like he's some sort of robot, it's been a long fucking day. 

"Dammit, Jared, say something!" Jared falters slightly, as if he's only just checking in but Jensen knows that he's heard every word. 

"Like you said," Jared says, voice low and hoarse. "This isn't going to work out. So maybe we should just cut our losses here and now." Jensen can tell that Jared doesn't mean what he's saying and it feels as though this time it's Jensen who's breaking them apart, he's the one who suddenly can't deal. But Jared's had five months to figure his shit out. Doesn't Jensen deserve a little time too? _You've had five months too_ , the voice in his head says, and Jensen wastes no time in telling it to _shut the fuck up_. What about all the things he overhead Jared saying to Justin? Where is that now, Jensen wonders. Why does it seem as though Jared has an easier time telling _other people_ how he feels about Jensen?

"Don't be like that, Jared," Jensen says quickly. "I just need some time to get my head around all of this. I heard what you said to Sandy and I get it, I hate pretending to be your friend too. I wish that it was as easy as us loving each other, but it isn't. I need to get over what happened properly, especially now that I know Justin was involved. You probably do too. And you need to get over the guilt you feel; ‘else it'll be a dark cloud hanging over us forever."

Jensen leans over and grabs Jared's hand. He feels the tremor that passes through Jared's body. "This doesn't have to be the end." Jared sits there for a few minutes in silence before letting go and leaving the room. Jensen remains where they were seated, on the end of the bed. He stares at the door. Seconds later it bursts open and Jared storms back in. 

“Just promise me one thing,” he says. “Promise me that you won’t get together with Justin, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“Why would I do that?” Jensen asks in a flabbergasted tone. “I don’t feel anything for him.”

“But that’s not the same for him.”

Jensen shrugs as he looks up at Jared. “That’s not my problem. Not that you have any right to tell me who I can’t and can date. I don’t remember saying anything about that guy you brought to the bar. Troy or Tracey, whatever his name was.”

“Trevor,” Jared says tightly. “And that was just because Chad told me he’d seen you talking to a whole bunch of guys. I thought that if you were moving on, I should too.”

That’s _new_ information but Jensen’s too wired to take the time to dissect it. “Great, so now that’s _my_ fault as well. Is there anything else that you’d like to blame me for?”

Jared sighs and leans back against the door. “When did we stop being able to just have a goddamn conversation with each other that didn’t end up being an argument?”

“I don’t know,” Jensen replies. “But I don’t like it. We’re better than this. We’re…a team, we’ve _always_ been one, and I think we still are.”

“Right,” Jared nods. “We are. And we both love each other. So what’s holding us back?”

It’s a good question. One that takes Jensen back to all those years when Jared was that freshman kid he’d looked after one night, that freshman kid who wouldn’t stop asking him out no matter how many times he said _not today, kid_ like he was some wise, all-knowing person. Of course, he thought he was back then. He thought that he was doing Jared a favour. Jensen was so sure that he’d only mess Jared up. He was just a few months out of that unhealthy arrangement he’d had with Justin, he was still figuring out who the hell he was. There was no denying that Jared had wormed his way into Jensen’s heart though, and he didn’t really realize that he wanted Jared until he ended up at the same bar as Jared and a bunch of his friends. He spent the night looking in Jared’s direction wondering why he wanted to destroy the arm of the guy who’d attached himself to Jared. Later, he would find out that the guy he’d gotten so crazy over was _Chad_. But right there and then he was hit by such an intense feeling of rage and jealousy that he decided that he wasn’t going to say no anymore. He was going to take a risk because he couldn’t screw up if he had nothing to destroy in the first place. Fast forward to present day and it is the same for both of them.

“We’re afraid that we’re going to fuck it up again,” he answers eventually. “So we keep coming up with ways to put this off. Staying friends, you saying that I was still mad, me saying that you need to get over your guilt.” 

“Neither of us wants to risk getting back together and having it blow up in our faces,” Jared murmurs and Jensen knows that he gets it. He just doesn’t know if Jared thinks what they have is worth taking a chance. 

~

Jensen finds himself coming home from work annoyed and tense two weeks later. For the briefest moment after he opens the door he waits for Jared to come ambling out of the kitchen and ask him how his day was. It’s been happening more and more lately, the ache in his chest is getting deeper and Jensen’s not sure what to do - or how the hell his ‘taking risks’ mantra backfired on him so spectacularly. Granted, maybe he was sending mixed messages. He _had_ gone from telling Jared that they weren’t going to work to begging him to take a risk, and something tells Jensen that Jared was right to walk away that night. 

“ _We can’t keep doing this_ ,” he’d said before he left. Jensen hasn’t seen him since. They’ve spoken on the phone a couple of times and decided that they need some actual space for a while to sort their heads out and figure out what they both want. So now Jared’s out of state helping out a music friend of his who’s broken his arm or pinky finger or something and Jensen’s stuck here on his own. He’s been avoiding the rest of the gang because he’s convinced it’s their fault that Jared’s suddenly gone. He’s been ignoring Justin’s calls (apparently ‘I never want to see you or hear from you again’ doesn’t mean anything anymore) and wallowing on his own misery ever since they got back from Wisconsin 

So he’s surprised to see Chad sitting on his couch when he opens the door. Chad’s flicking through the TV channels like he owns the place, but Jensen can’t find it in himself to be annoyed. Chad turning up uninvited is nothing new.

“What are you doing here?” he asks as he hangs up his coat and toes off his shoes. 

Chad turns to face him. “The others wanted to stage an intervention but I told them I’d talk to you.”

“You drew the short straw didn’t you?” Jensen says with a laugh. It feels like the first time he’s laughed in months. It’s possible that he’s a little hysterical at the moment. 

“Every damn time,” Chad grumbles. “Anyway, I’m here to check that you’re not crying into a tub of ice cream or whatever. And also Jared asked me to check up on you. You’re both doing the right thing by the way.” That last part sounds a little forced and Jensen wonders if Chad really believes that or Katie told him to say it. He suspects that it’s the latter. 

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Jensen says. “It feels like we’ve given up.” Chad hums in response but he doesn’t offer his own opinion, which is a first for Chad.

~

With Jared gone, Chad showing up at the apartment becomes a regular occurrence. As much as they both pretend to hate each other, they’re both connected via Jared, and they both miss him. So it makes sense for them to hang out. That is at least what Jensen tells himself when he’s seconds away from strangling Chad to death. It’s now been a month since Jared’s been gone and Jensen’s not sure if the space has made his feelings any clearer than they were before. In a fit of frustration, he decides to box up the rest of Jared’s stuff. It’s not like Jared will be coming back here anytime soon, even if they _do_ get back together. 

“Do I really need to be here for this?” Chad whines petulantly from where he’s sifting through a pile of junk. Jensen ignores him the way he has the last seven times Chad has asked that question. He’s almost done with this particular drawer when he feels something lumpy in between a pile of mismatched t-shirts. He reaches in and finds himself pulling out a small box. He stares at it. 

“You know, I just remembered that I have somewhere to be,” Chad says suddenly. “Like, right now.”

“Hold it right there,” Jensen replies before Chad can even move an inch. “What the hell is this?” He holds up the offending item and waves it around a little. Chad’s face has taken on a pinched look and Jensen can tell that Chad knows the story behind it. He doesn’t need to open the box to know that there’s a ring inside it, all he needs right now is an answer. 

“It’s your drawer, in your apartment,” Chad says in a strained tone. “I should really be asking you that question.”

“You know I bumped into your old landlord the other day,” Jensen says conversationally. “He was saying something about how you still owe him rent money from before he kicked you out. I told him that I hadn’t seen you but I imagine that he’d still be after his money.”

Chad glares at him. “I’m not going to give in, Ackles. If you want an answer, you know who to ask.” He stands quickly and leaves the bedroom, and seconds later Jensen hears the front door slam. 

He looks back down at the box. After a minute or so, he takes a deep breath and opens it. 

~

**ii.**

Jared is miserable. Well, at least that’s what people keep on telling him, despite the fact that he keeps telling _them_ that he feels great. And he does. He feels great now that he’s away from that whole mess with Jensen and the rest of the group making him feel like shit for ruining everything. Sure, he’s maybe picked up the phone at least thirty times to call Jensen, and he’s considered flying back and saying _to hell with it, let’s take a risk, let’s get back together_. He’s clicked on ‘compose’ and typed out several emails only to hit ‘discard’ minutes later. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel great. They are just slip ups. Minor blips, small bumps in the road, whatever. 

Jared’s also a liar because despite the fact that he’s convinced himself that he _feels_ great, he knows that he doesn’t. He feels like shit. He feels alone, feels like he’s punishing himself. And maybe he is. Maybe Jensen is right. No, Jensen _is_ right. He needs to get over his guilt. Jared thinks he’s getting there slowly, besides the whole being miserable thing. He misses Jensen, misses his friends. He misses being happy. 

He misses being able to pretend that he doesn’t know where it all started to fall apart, where the cracks appeared, like a huge crater in the center of the earth. 

~

Jared’s lying on the couch in his friend’s apartment and watching TV aimlessly when his phone starts buzzing loudly. He ignores it in favour of staring at the screen. He’s only here because his parents had been driving him _crazy_. Apparently the novelty of him being back home had worn off. Now it was just an endless barrage of questions about Jensen. _Have you set another date for the wedding? Oh, what’s that? You’re not back together yet? Oh, Jared. That poor boy must be going through hell!_ It had become very tiresome, very quickly. After a brief respite, his phone starts buzzing again. With a heavy sigh, he leans over to see who’s calling. When he sees that it’s Jensen, he snatches his cell up and answers without thinking. 

“Hey!” he says, wincing at how high his voice is. 

“Uh, hi,” Jensen says slowly, almost as if he wasn’t the one who called. “This might be a little bit awkward but I was going through our – my – your – _the_ drawers in the bedroom and sorting out your stuff because most of it is here and…I thought that you might need it for when you come back.” Jared waits patiently for Jensen to get to the point. He definitely does not dwell on the fact that Jensen’s packing his belongings up, like he thinks that Jared won’t ever be coming back. Jared’s never been one for confusing gestures that need deciphering, but there’s a reason why he hasn’t ever moved that stuff. Even now, he still holds out hope that they’ll be back there one day, together. Home. 

“I found a box in between a pile of old shirts,” Jensen is saying when Jared checks back in. “And I opened it and there was a—“ Jared drops his phone, barely registering the dull thud it makes when it hits the carpet. He’s too busy freaking out. Jensen found the box. He found the _ring_. 

Jared scrambles for his phone, cuts Jensen off and then calls Chad. 

“No,” Chad says when he answers. “No, no, no, no, no. You are not dragging me into this.”

“I haven’t even said anything yet.” 

Chad laughs dryly. “I was there when he found the ring. That’s why you’re calling me, right?”

“What the hell am I supposed to say to him?” Jared asks. 

“The truth,” Chad says firmly. “Just be honest.” The line goes dead.

He calls Jensen back, heart pounding violently in his chest as the dial tone sounds in his ear. What the hell is he supposed to say? Sure, the truth, but _how_ does he explain this without screwing things up even more. 

“Hey, what happened?” Jensen’s voice sounds in his ear and Jared snaps out of his panicked thoughts. 

“Bad signal,” he lies. And then he’s flooded with guilt because lying by omission is what’s gotten him into this mess. 

“So, there’s a ring in this box,” Jensen says. “And I’ve never seen it before, so I guess that it’s yours.” Jensen’s tone is passive, and Jared can’t detect any anger or hurt, just confusion. He’s tempted for a minute to say it’s his mom’s, or some sort of family heirloom but he finds that he can’t lie about this. 

“Check the engraving,” Jared says. He feels stupid now, for somehow never expecting Jensen to find it. 

_“I would not wish any companion in the world but you,_ ” Jensen says. “Isn’t that one of the lines from the creepy poetry you sent me way before we ever started dating?” Jared breathes out a laugh at that. 

“You said it was ‘kind of nice’ if you really thought about,” he says. “By the way, the poetry was all Katie’s idea.”

“Of course it was,” Jensen says with a laugh of his own. “So, what is this? A wedding ring or…just something you just…hang on to…” 

“It was supposed to be an engagement ring,” Jared admits. There’s no point in beating about the bush here. “I just never got around to asking because I…” He trails off, unsure what to say. It’s not that he hadn’t wanted to ask, he’d had the ring long enough. 

“You weren’t ready,” Jensen says. “And when I got around to asking we _still_ weren’t ready.”

Jared sighs. “Maybe things just got all messed up because we didn’t talk about it. You just…asked, and I said yes, and then we never really talked about what it would mean. Not really. You were busy with work and I was…” He trails off, unsure if this is the time and place to reveal his inner fears. He doesn’t want to make this about _him_ when it’s about them. 

“You were what?” 

“I was convincing myself that I wasn’t good enough for you,” Jared says a little breathlessly. Maybe it’ll be less awkward if he can get through this as quickly as possible. Maybe he’ll feel less stupid. “You were doing great at work and I was – and still am – just a stupid pianist at a crappy restaurant.”

“Now I’m regretting all of those dinners we have at Knife,” Jensen quips. “Seriously if you hated it so much, why didn’t you say anything? I would have listened.”

Jared shifts on his couch and leans back, takes a deep breath. It feels good to get this off his chest, even if it is months too late. “I know you would have. Pride got in the way, I guess. I didn’t want to end up unemployed and mooching off you.”

“Yeah, well, you’re an idiot,” Jensen says, though there’s no malice in his tone. “But I get it. And I think I kind of understand why you didn’t tell me about the ring either.”

“So you’re not mad?”

“No, I’m not,” Jensen replies. He doesn’t say much after that. 

~

tbc

* * *

**Not a great part, butI think the next one is a lot better. Thanks for reading! **


End file.
